Monday, August 27, 2012

Jodoh : Sabar


Ditulis oleh : Ustazah Noraslina Jusin



Buat adik-adik yang dikasihi yang sedang 'bertarung' perasaan,

Soal jodoh, sebagaimana juga soal-soal selainnya dalam hidup ini adalah soal rezeki yang diberikan oleh ALLAH Subhanahu wa ta'ala kepada setiap manusia, namun berbeza antara seorang dengan seorang yang lain.

Ada yang berkahwin atas dasar suka sama suka; sebahagiannya pula bernikah atas pilihan orang tua. Ada yang berumahtangga setelah diusik-usik rakan sekerja, tidak kurang juga yang bertemu jodoh mereka di tempat belajar dan bekerja. Sebahagiannya merasakan teman dari kecil, bersekolah bersama itulah jodoh yang serasi dengannya; bahkan sebahagian pasangan bertemu jodoh setelah berkenalan di laman sosial (internet) hinggakan dengan kehendak-NYA, ada juga yang bertemu pasangan hidup ketika sedang beribadah di Baitullah!

Ada yang bertemu jodoh pada usia remaja, sebahagian pula pada usia matang dewasa dan tidak kurang yang bertemu jodoh pada usia emas mereka.

Namun, perlu diingat, semua itu berlaku atas kehendak-NYA tanpa melupakan bahawa setiap individu 'memiliki' jodoh mereka menurut pilihan sendiri sama ada ia diperolehi dari jalan redha ILAHI atau kemurkaan-NYA.

Semua itu tercatat di sisi ALLAH Subhanahu wa ta'ala sebagai ujian keimanan hamba-hambaNYA.

Maka, sebelum hijab takdirmu tersingkap, sebelum pasti siapakah jodoh yang namanya tercatat siap di sisi ILAHI, dahulukan prasangka yang baik, bermunajat yang baik, berikhtiar yang baik dan diiringi dengan tawakal yang benar kepada-NYA. Ikhlaskan hati dalam perjuanganmu mendapatkan'rezeki' itu melalui tuntunan yang haq (benar), halal dan mulia.

Janganlah kerana menyangka 'rezeki' yang satu ini lambat tibanya, maka jalan haram didekati, usaha yang berkat dijauhi.

InsyaALLAH, bak kata orang lama, kalau sudah jodoh tak akan ke mana.

Sekadar pandangan dari 'kakak' mu ini :))

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Nikah : Bila Sesuai?

Salam. Eid mubarak. :]
Musim walimah betul sekarang ye. Jemputan sana jemputan sini hihi. Mula-mula rasa tergugat jugak arr kan, kawan2 sekolah Taayah berduyun2 melangsungkan perkahwinan. Syok ala Thai la kome yer keh3.

Kali ni nak setori pasal nikah kahwin lah pulop kan. Sesuai lah dengan keadaan sekarang kan. Dalam banyak2 persoalan, ada satu yang ingin dibangkitkan, iaitu bilakah masa yang sesuai untuk menikah? Haa jawapannya of course ada banyak, up to oneself la kan. tapi in this post saya ingin melontarkan pendapat saya sendiri, bukan anda atau orang lain hehe. Tapi kita punya pendapat maybe ada sama beberapa percent, or maybe totally same, or totally different hehe.

Ramai yang nikah waktu belajar, jumpa di tempat belajar, cinta pandang pertama bla bla bla.. Ada yang jumpa lambat, kerja dulu, cari2 then baru jumpa. Macam2 cerita kita boleh dengar daripada macam2 orang.

Dua isu yang ingin dibangkitkan, keperluan dan kemampuan. Adakah perlu untuk menikah? Of course jawapannya perluuu. Nikah itu sunnah Nabi Muhammad Sal-lallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. Nikah itu menyempurnakan separuh agama kita. Tapi tu lah, ada yang rasa nikah tak perlu, atau sebetulnya BELUM PERLU, terutama bila ia berkaitan isu yang kedua yakni kemampuan. Kemampuan pulak ada dibahagi pada beberapa cabang, zahir dan batin. Mampu kah untuk menyara keluarga, ada bekalan wang ke, kemudahan2 awam lain macam kereta, rumah etc. Mampu kah hendak commit dengan tanggungjawab? Kadang2 kita rasa kita dah matang, tapi cuba tanya orang 2 yang rapat sekeliling kita, time management dah ok ke? Boleh kawal emosi dah ke.Dan pelbagai lagi.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hai dik, sorang je ke?

Update pendek je. Semalam lepas tarawih aku balek la sorang2, kelajuan kaki memang negative, dengan muka sedihnye (sob3) memikirkan macam2 hal yang tak pernah selesai. Haha.

dah tulis sebab2 kesedihan then i decided not to story here, cuma one of them was because this is my last Ramadhan at uia (maybe). Alkisahnya, ada sorang sis sampai jemput aku naik motor dia sebab tengok aku jalan lambat sangat, ingatkan aku penat kot. padahal mahallah aku taksampai setengah kilometer lagi je punn haha.

Ummi ajar aku untuk redha dgn apa yang jadi. Aku pun kena terima sebab entah2 esok2 aku plak berada di tempat mereka. Kesimpulannya, jangan selalu emo. Ingat Allah selalu, kata ummi. Hihi. So that conclude my post this time kekeke.

Alhamdulillah DS and English exam done. Waktu exam DS jumpe sorang sis yang mengingatkan aku pada seseorang. Dah tu memang adik orang tu kan. Argh, kenapa la dia ada di sini. Waktu English tak jumpe sape2 yang best pun, sume kawan2 biasa je hahaha. Still I am excited even to see my friends' faces hehe. Terima kasih kepada yang menceriakan hidup gue, baik perempuan mahupun bukan perempuan (laki2 laa haha).

Thanks Dr. Khairunnisah Ibrahim and madam Zarinah Jan bt Yusof Khan for the knowledge, will try to implement them in ma life. Alhamdulillah, selamat berbuka puasa! hihi

Alhamdulillah, di kampus ade kengkawan yang menceriakan hati, dan memahami. Terima kasih :')
Gambar : sebelum Iftar KICT 070812

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Catch Me If You Can

Kepala pusem bero.
Banyak betul bende jadi.
Masalah ni tak habis, datang masalah tu pulak.
Pening juga memikirkan masa depan yang merenggut.
Padahal bende2 masa depan bagi kat Allah suda, ye dak?
Tapi sebab aku nak plan, just to be sure I can be happy if I achieve my plan.
Tak semestinya kalau plan not achieved so I should not be happy kan.
Whatever it is, just enjoy your studies ye Sumaiyah.
Tak kesah la dapat grad dgn member2 ke tidak.
Kalau takdapat convo that year boleh sambung master terus hikhik

Friday, August 10, 2012

Wise Men and Women

Men generally don’t realize how their suddenly pulling away and then return later returning affects women. With this new insight about how women are affected by his intimacy cycle, a man can recognize the importance of sincerely listening when a woman speaks. He understands and respects her need to be reassured that he is interested in her and he does care. Whenever he is not needing to pull away, the wise man takes the time to initiate conversation by asking his female partner how she is feeling.

He grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he pulls away that he will be back. He might say “I need some time to be alone and then we will have some special together with no distractions.” Or if he starts to pull away while she is talking he might say “I need some time to think about this and then we can talk again.”

When he returns to talk, she might probe him to understand why he left. If he’s not sure, which is many time the case, he might say “I’m not sure. I just needed some time to myself. But let’s continure our conversation.” He is more aware that she needs to be heard and he needs to listen more when he is not pulling away. In addition, he knows that listening helps him to become aware of what he wants to share in a conversation.

To initiate a conversation the wise woman learns not to demand that a man talk but asks that he truly listen to her. As her emphasis changes, the pressure on him is released. She learns to open up and share her feelings without demanding that he do the same.

She trusts that he will gradually open up more as he feels accepted and listens to her feelings. She does not punish him or chase after him. She understands that sometimes her intimate feelings trigger his need to pull away while at other times (when he is on his way back) he is quite capable of hearing her intimate feelings. This wise woman does not give up. She patiently and lovingly persists with a knowing that few women have. (Gray, 1992)

References : Gray, J. (1992). Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Harper Collins Publishers Inc.

Is this Me #5

The Most Miserable
You are well suited for a life of politics because you are able to differentiate between wrong from right pretty well and you are also very decisive. (keras hati bero, xnak dengo pendapat org haha)

YOUR LOVE
When it comes to love, you are very indecisive. You sometimes need him or her, sometimes you don't. You better be careful not to hurt an innocent party. (betui kot? so dont fall for me. Lulz)

What kind of person are you?
You are an outgoing and cheerful person. Although you get frustrated sometimes, you get through hard times easily and are joyful again. (bakpo nak pikir benda sedih lame2 ye dok. Life goes on maah)

Your friendly personality makes you attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex, but this makes your spouse feel insecure. Your lack of emotion is a disadvantage, but your candor has made you popular. (Faymes sebab outspoken is not good bero)

Friends of your gender find it hard to understand you because of your innocent thinking. But this is your advantage as it attracts members of the opposite sex who have the same personality as you. (pasal same gender tu setuju, only few people understood me well. Yang opposite sex tu macam tak je haha)

Psychological Test
• You are easy to understand. (dah easy le plak hahaha)
• How ambitious you are depends on the height that you answered, which is: top. (zzzzz)
• You try to please everyone, the size of this personality as seen by others is medium. (ngape nak gumbirakan hati org lain jika kita terseksa? kui3)
• Diamond means stubborn personality. (baru tau ka?)
• You are also superior and impressive. (bluek =P)
• You are an opportunist.
• Your husband or wife is the one you need when you are in trouble. (time will come, inshaAllah. If not now, later.)


-setakat ni habis dah untuk website sama dgn soalan yang berbeza2. Harap ande2 sekalian suda mengenali saye. Pura2 kenal jah. Wakaka. Kbai.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sing and Dance!

Minat masing2, tak minat boleh klik [x] di sudut kanan atas.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Men are Like Rubber Bands

 Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.

Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault not her fault. It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a man’s pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons. She pulls back when she doesn’t trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Certainly a man will pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he as fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy again. Automatically he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he was stretched away. He doesn’t feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

---

Without an understanding of how men are like rubber bands, it is very easy for women to misinterpret a man’s reaction. A common confusion arises when says “Let’s talk” and immediately he emotionally distances himself. Right when she wants to open up and get closer, he wants to pull away. Commonly I hear the complaint “Every time I want to talk, he pulls away. I feel like doesn’t care about me.” she mistakenly concludes that he doesn’t ever want to talk to her.

This rubber band analogy explains how a man care very much about his partner but suddenly pull away. When he pulls away it is not because he does not want to talk. Instead, he needs some time alone ; time to be with himself when he is not responsible for anyone else. It is a time for him to take care of himself. When he returns he is available to talk.

To a certain extent a man loses himself through connecting with his partner. By feeling her needs, problems, wants and emotions he may lose touch with his own sense of self. Pulling away allows him to re-establish his personal boundaries and fulfill his need to feel autonomous.
Some men, however, may describe this pulling away differently. To them it is just a feeling of “I need some space” or “I need to be alone.” Regardless of how it is described, when a man pulls away, he is fulfilling a valid need to take care of himself for a while.

Just as we do not decide to be hungry, a man does not decide to pull away. It is an instinctual urge. He can only get so close, and then he begins to lose himself. At this point he begins to feel his need for autonomy and begins to pull away. By understanding this process, women can begin correctly to interpret this pulling away. (Gray, 1992)

References : Gray, J. (1992). Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Harper Collins Publishers Inc.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Kau Pergi, Aku Pergi


Pergilah rinduku hilangkan dirimu,
Tak sanggup menanggung derita di kalbuku.

Pergilah sayangku bermula semula,
Semangat cintaku membara kerana DIA,
Tiada niatku.

Maafkan daku duhai kasih,
Izinkan ku pergi.

-Kaer-

Is this Me #4

What type of personality do you have? 

Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet (haha gelinyer). Everybody likes to be around people with your personality (yeke yeke). Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between. (yo lah tu kekeke)

What's on your mind?
You are incredibly sentimental and live your life for love (kui3). This can get you into financial trouble at times, as you don't always fall for the right kind of partner.

Your Handwriting
If you write some strokes thickly but others are thin, it's likely that you're a very unpredictable person. Sometimes you'll get very serious about something, but there's always the possibility that you'll suddenly lose interest. It can take you a long time to complete a task--if it gets done at all before something else grabs your attention. (meme pung)

Feelings are Important

significance from this post.

If a woman is not supported in being unhappy sometimes then she can never truly be happy. To be genuinely happy requires dipping down into the well to release, heal and purify the emotions. This is a natural and healthy process.

If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear and sorrow. When a woman goes down into her well is when she can heal these negative emotions.

Men also need to process their negative feelings so that they can then experience their positive feelings. When a man goes into his cave is a time when he silently feels and processes his negative feelings.

When a woman is on the upswing she can be fulfilled with that she has. But on the downswing she then will become aware of what she is missing. When she is feeling good she is capable of seeing and responding to the good things in her life. But when she is crashing, her loving vision becomes cloudy, and she reacts more to what is missing in her life.

Just as a glass of water can be viewed as half full or half empty, when a woman is on her way up she sees the fullness of her life. On the way down she sees the emptiness. Whatever emptiness she over-looks on the way up comes more into focus when she is on her way down into her well.

Without learning about how women are like waves men cannot understand or support their wives. They are confused when things get a lot on the outside but worse in the relationship. By remembering this difference a man holds the key to giving his partner the love she deserves when she needs it the most.(Gray, 1992)

References : Gray, J. (1992). Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Harper Collins Publishers Inc.

Is this Me #3

What does being a friend really mean to you?
You value your friendships: 45%
You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too. (sobsob)

Are You Nosy?
Nosy Level: 90%
You have a wild and crazy imagination, and this can lead you to being very nosy as you strive to check out whether your theories are true (hahaha). You get very occupied with your own thoughts and create fantastic stories out of the things that you think are happening in people's lives. It might be a good idea to concentrate more on your own life. (jaga tepi kain sendiri la der)

What's your personality love style?
Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally. (kesian aku kan. sob3)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Kecewa Lagi



Kau berikanku segala-galanya
dan Kau mengujiku dengan cinta dunia
yang sungguh indah dan
Kau hiaskannya dengan intan permata
dengan jua wanita
dan kedudukan yang memalingkanku daripada-Mu.

-sedaple plak lagu nih-

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

When I Present ...

Alhamdulillah, presented my research for English for Academic Writing Purposes (EAW) subject, entitled 'Gender Differences on Facebook Usage' among IIUM students.

Obviously nervousness was there. Haha. As usual, people laughing at me. Hairan betul, present OS pun orang gelak. Padahal aku tak buat lawak pun. The one I regretted most was I didn’t record my presentation! Aaaaaa (meren suda) Tu la, sapa suruh tak charge mp3. It is good to hear your own self after presented. You will have some sort of relieved, foolish, senget, funny and satisfied feeling. Haaa believe me. Other than that, you can re-listen to your own voice. Boleh la perasan sikit2, di samping mengetahui di mana kelebihan dan kekurangan andee.

I rated my own presentation (together with findings) 8 out of 10. Hihi. Suke hati gua la nak bagi brape kan. Despite main2 and all constraints, I managed to present today. Have to present today because I suppose to handle my 2nd draft of term paper today (which I didn’t do). So I will submit it tomorrow inshaAllah. Budak2 NC ajak g iftar kat Alpha Angle le plop. Aiyoyo penim penim.

Back to my presentation, reasons why people laughed that I can detect are :
- Tekan remote untuk magicboard passionately (kot). Macam tak pernah jumpa remote.
- Touch the magicboard screen with my finger but the slide didn’t change to the next. After touch again then it went to the next next slide. Aigoo
- At last, I use my penumbuk tu touch the screen. Ok jalan.
- People laughed most when my recommendation was not referring to my significant findings (can see from the link below). Sebab memang buat last minute. So madam asked why, I was speechless. Then I said “Takpela madam, no recommendation.” Sume orang gelak. Hoho. Apada sumi..

Back to my seat, one sister said that I was being too honest in front there. Huhu I am sorry, that is my personality. With nervousness and panic, what I said first was original from my heart (ceh, bajet).  Sekian cerita presentation saya. I don't really mind people laughing, maybe because I love being the center of attention LOL + aku tak buat salah ape pun, it is about my style in presenting. Below are links to my questionnaire and the result :

Questionnaires
Presentation Slides

Thanks for those who helped, may Allah double triple the rewards during this blessed Ramadhan. See ya next time! (InshaAllah)

Rindu rumah dan isinya. Allah, mudahkanlah urusan mereka, tenangkanlah hati mereka.

Is this Me #2

Your Hidden Talent :The Mass Communicator
You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person (kind le sgt). Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd (euw euw). You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help. (yeke yeke)

What is your spending style? : Your smart spending score: 73%
To others, you may appear to be very stingy (memang pun), but you have the ability to earn money and you won't spend it carelessly. You have full control over your money matters. (sebenarnya aku jimat2 tapi sekali beli habis banyak kui3)

The Clothes You Wear
What others see from your style :
Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness (this one I loike). You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal :
You are determined, strong and straight to the point (outsepoken le katekan). You like to be challenged and like to win as well. (kesian sape lawan dgn aku)

What others see from your ties :
You're a self-centered, fun-loving, and you probably won't change your ways (changes is sometimes good and sometimes not!).

What others see from your belts :
You are a lonely (sobsob) and demanding person (perfectionist). You are hardworking as well as intelligent, and can be passionate when in love. (tgn di dada mata ke atas)

What others see from your shoes :
You're very young at heart. You regard freedom highly and don't like to be controlled by a set of rules. You don't like conflict, will compromise wherever possible, and are hardworking people. Occasionally you can become vulnerable when having to face problems, especially emotional ones. (aku emo kejap je, tapi kalu org drag lame2@constantly ask for an apology, annoying le jgk. I don't keep things in my heart, pls remember that)

What others see from your earrings :
You are a sweet and talkative person. You are sociable, energetic and interesting, and get easily bored by the same old things. You are always looking for adventure. (yeahhh)

The last analysis :
You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts. (sebab tu aku tulis blog, syok sendiri org kate. haha)

need help? call me when u free wakaka

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