Saturday, October 13, 2012

The Last Piece of Love

Salam everyone :)

Pheww. Lama betul tak menulis. Nak cerita pasal PRK belum sampai mood lagi haha. Nak cerita pasai hati dan perasaan lagi ah. Boleh kan? Tak boleh? Ada aku kesah? Hahaha

Nature join program, jumpa macam2 orang. Nature aku plak memang pendiam di awal perkenalan. Tapi kalau orang tu lain jantina pun aku malas nak lebih2 sangat. Bukan segan. Sumaiyah segan? Pelik kata seorang teman. Mungkin aku malas nak over sangat. Nanti masalah hati plak. Hati aku bukan dia. Cuma kadang2 some of them memang akan jadi rapat because of other friends, bukan sebab diri sendiri.

Alkisah, aku memang senang sukakan orang. Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku memang dah sampai tahap wajib menikah. Tapi jalan tu tak mudah. Jalan untuk menempuh gerbang pernikahan dan jalan ketika sudah melepasi gerbang itu. Takut dengan tanggungjawab satu. Tapi tu bukan sebab utama. Cuma bila sudah tiba masanya, inshaAllah.



Sebab utama adalah : Jeng3. Tak sangka, rupanya apa ada dalam hati aku selama ni sama dgn kawan aku sorang nih. Kami sama2 susah nak percaya kalau ada lelaki yang suka kat kami. Like, what is it in me that you like so much? Hihihi. I am not that sopan santun like other solehah women. Not that slim (hahaha). Not that clever. Not that hardworking. I’m just a playful person with an abundance of dreams. Hoho. Tapi nak achieve all those dreams requires a lot of seriousness, which I don’t deploy fully until this time. So? That’s why the dreams be left as dreams.

So susah lah nak jumpa orang yang kata suka kat aku, which he really mean it. I don’t know how to measure people’s sincerity, but I try to be true in whatever I say and do inshaAllah. Sometimes I left myself being cheated on (like just recently) and that is the ultimate reasons why I don’t believe in men (most of the time). I might act good to you, that is just to respect you as human being. Until you prove to me that you are a gentleman (which is subjective for everyone), until that it will be hard for me to believe in you. I had given chances to some, but in the end I’m the one who will be left. Never mind, that is nature of a relationship that don’t based on syara’. Hihi.

Oh. When I realize that man I like actually is fond of my friend (or vice versa), I prefer to withdraw from the match court. It’s ok for me being sad for a while, because I always have Allah who listens to me all the time. I will diminish my feeling to him slowly (which one of the ways is to avoid seeing him). Regarding my day, I don’t know when the time will come, but until I reach that time, please Allah, make me strong to face all these challenges. Amiin. See ya!

p.s : sudah bertunang dengan kematian :)

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